Let’s face it – we’ve all had those moments staring at our lazy house cats and thought, “If only getting fit was that easy.” But before you consider firing your certified trainer at Core Progression Personal Training, let’s examine why your feline friend would make the worst personal trainer ever.
First, cats sleep 16 hours a day. Try scheduling a consistent workout routine around that! While professional trainers in Denver and Austin are ready to help you crush your fitness goals at dawn, your cat trainer would be face-down in their kibble, dreaming of cardboard boxes.
Here’s what a cat-led training session would actually look like:
- Warm-up: Watching your cat stretch for 20 minutes while they completely ignore your existence
- Cardio: Chasing them around the house after they steal your resistance bands
- Strength Training: Repeatedly picking up knocked-over water bottles
- Cool-down: Getting judged silently from the top of the refrigerator
Unlike the dedicated professionals at Core Progression’s locations across Colorado and Texas, cats have zero understanding of proper form. Their idea of a squat is knocking things off tables, and their version of a plank is lying spread-eagle in the middle of your yoga mat when you’re trying to work out.
Let’s talk about motivation techniques. While certified trainers provide encouraging feedback and scientific expertise, cats alternate between complete indifference and sudden bursts of chaos. Your cat’s idea of progression tracking would be leaving dead mice on your doorstep – not exactly the metrics we’re looking for in a fitness journey.
And forget about specialized programs like athletic training or weight loss guidance. The only weight your cat understands is the exact pressure needed to knock your protein shake off the counter when you’re not looking.
The truth is, whether you’re in Boulder, Northglenn, or downtown Austin, you need a trainer who won’t fall asleep during your sets or get distracted by laser pointers. Core Progression’s professional trainers understand human anatomy, exercise science, and most importantly, won’t knock over your water bottle just to watch it spill.
So while your cat might be great at teaching relaxation techniques (they are experts at finding sunbeams), leave the serious fitness guidance to the professionals. After all, when was the last time you saw a cat successfully demonstrate a proper deadlift? That’s what we thought.
Remember: Professional training is about consistent progress, proper form, and structured programs – not random 3 AM zoomies around the house. Keep the cats for cuddles, and trust your fitness journey to the experts.